-- nbcnews.com, April 20, 2013
As a mournful melody plays on a piano, we see a montage of depressed adults watching the news on their TVs. Images of the Boston bombings, the Texas fire, floods, etc., run on all the shows.
NARRATOR (soothing woman's voice): It seems like it will never end. Terrorism. Fires. Shoot-outs in your neighborhood. Terrorists in your back yard. All brought to you live on TV, 24 hours a day. How does it make you feel? What it does it make you want to do? How is it possible to face another day?
Close-ups of the same adults, looking suicidal.
NARRATOR: It isn't your fault. You have crisis fatigue. But now, there's help. There's hope. There's Telebrate.
We see the Telebrate logo -- the sun bursting from a TV -- followed by the same adults looking hopeful. The music becomes a tad happier.
NARRATOR: Telebrate is a prescription medicine that treats many symptoms of crisis fatigue including fear, anxiety and an overwhelming urge to strangle that smug bastard Brian Williams.
The adults are now regarding their TVs with renewed-happiness.
NARRATOR: Before taking Telebrate, talk to your doctor about your daily internet intake. Tell your doctor right aware if your crisis fatigue worsens or you have thoughts of suicide bombings. In rare cases, people have been known to cancel their cable service.
Montage of adults continue to watch terrible news, but are now relaxed and smiling.
NARRATOR: Possible side effects include callousness, flippancy and inappropriate chortles. People with rose-colored glasses may feel an increase in superfluous jauntiness. Severe frivolity, sometimes fatal, has been know to occur.
One adult pats a dog on its head while, on TV, terrorist victims are carted onto ambulances.
NARRATOR: Crisis fatigue is real. But Telebrate will always be there to help -- because bad news is never going away. Ever.
The Telebrate sun-inside-the-TV logo rises from the horizon.
NARRATOR: Telebrate -- we make life worth living.