|"I bet I look pretty hot you now, eh, ladies?"|
This is indeed a great country.
|You know you're very, very important|
if Donald Trump has an opinion of you.
As of this writing, Edward Snowden is on the run. If the CIA is as powerful as he suggests, he won't make it to the Reykjavik Residence Inn without being found out. Since he's unlikely to get rehired anytime soon, I offer myself as his replacement. Despite being ridiculously overqualified compared to Snowden, I can assure you that I wouldn't look a $122K salary and a pad in Hawaii in the mouth. Resume available on request. And as for pole-dancing, I'm sure my wife could figure it out.