|Admit it -- wouldn't it have been|
better if they had gotten married?
I suppose it starts when you're a child. Your parents are icons of truth and security, the world is beautiful and life is an endless opportunity to grow, explore and have fun with. Over time, all these beliefs come crashing down to earth with the grace of the Fatty Arbuckle at a drunken orgy. The incident that smashed my daughter's rose-colored glasses into a million shards had to do with the time she asked me about the keratosis-thingy at the top of my forehead. "Oh, we were at the Bronx Zoo when you were a baby," I explained. "A lion tried to take a swipe at you, but I jumped in his way to protect you."
|At least this guy knows I was full of it.|
She was about five or so when I served up this heaping dish of malarkey, and swallowed it like a ravished sea lioness. It was only fairly recently that she realized the patent falsity of the story, and called me on it. "You lied to me!" she said huffily, probably more angry at herself for have fallen for such a line in the first place.
"Any father would have said the same thing," I replied. "Besides, guys are gonna start feeding you even bigger lies than that, so you might as well have your guard up." Was she grateful that I was doing her a favor? What do you think?
Yes, the problem begins in childhood, but it continues forever afterwards. We insist on picturing our heroes as perfect creatures when they consist of feet of clay, hearts of ice and brains of ME ME ME. Expect the best! we shout at kids on a daily basis when, in reality, the best is a commodity as rare as an affordable truffle burger. It's time to set them straight in order to prepare them for the real future that lies ahead.
|Something like this.|
|Nor did they think they were electing a guy|
who eats pizza with a fork and knife.
|You mean that he lost his job?|
doing the limbo rock. How LOW can you GO!