In a nationally televised speech, Saudi Arabia's new king, Salman bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud, promised to continue the policies of his late half-brother King Abdullah.These policies include supporting terrorists on the QT, stoning adulterers to death, treating women like 9th-class citizens, punishing free-thinkers with 1000 lashes, getting away with murder through oil sales to Western countries, playing the United States government like a plucked lute, and, most important, rubbing black shoe polish on his facial hair.
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