In explaining the administration's policy of not negotiating with terrorists, White House spokesman Eric Schultz drew a distinction between Afghanistan’s Taliban and the Islamic State, describing the Taliban as an “armed insurgency."
"Distinctions like this," Shultz added, "will be considered retroactively as well. For instance, the three separate events that happened on 9/11 will be divided into separate categories. The destruction of the World Trade Center is now considered 'workplace violence.' The plane flying into the Pentagon is 'military misadventure,' while the hijacking and subsequent crash of the plane in Shanksville, Pennsylvania is officially 'aeronautic abeyance.'"
"And just to be clear," Schultz added, "we're now labeling the Boston Marathon bombing 'sports-related hooliganism.'" Admitting that he had no knowledge if the aborted 2010 Times Square car bombing was part of the official relabeling, Schultz said, "But if I had to guess, we would consider that 'automobile disturbance gaff.' But let me get back to you on that."