What a shock it was when I saw Dick Cheney at the buffet table. Oops! It was really Chevy Chase. Hey, Chevy, I'm healthy and you're not!
I had barely swallowed my canape before noticing Jim Belushi. "Hey Jim," I called, "in all your years on Saturday Night Live, what are you proudest of?"
"That's an easy one," he grinned. "Riding on the name of my far more talented dead brother. Otherwise, I'd be a bouncer at a strip club in Encino." Ain't it the truth!
Of course, the biggest thrill for everyone was the return of former comedy icon Eddie Murphy, whose greatest movies delighted audiences during the Reagan administration. When he wasn't thinking of ways not to be funny during the show, Eddie spent the evening avoiding Joe Piscopo.
And speaking of politics, it was good to see Rudy Giuliani with his third wife (and only the second who wasn't his cousin). "How's it going, Rudy?" I asked, shaking his hand.
"Let me tell you something," America's Mayor replied. "I was in New York on 9/11. I lived through that terrible time."
"Right, I remember. So, uh, what're you up to these days?"
"I lost friends on 9/11. It was awful, just awful."
"Uh hunh. So, uh, who was your favorite SNL cast member?"
"You have no idea what was like in New York on 9/11," he replied unhesitatingly. "I was mayor, I was at Ground Zero. I saw what happened. Nobody knows 9/11 like me."
"OK, Rudy," I said, "good talking to you." I gotta give this to him, he's one focused guy.
Rudy wasn't the only politician at the party. Half-wit, half-term governor Sarah Palin hugged it out with agitator-without-portfolio Al Sharpton. When I asked why these two political opposites were so chummy, Sharpton admitted, "Simple. Without the other, we die."
"The Rev's right," agreed Palin. "Who are we otherwise but a couple of big mouths whose opinions aren't worth moose shit? We need each other the same way the press needs us so they have something to talk about instead of real news."
"Kind of like Saturday Night Live," Sharpton noted. "They started out as 'take no prisoners.' Politicians were afraid of what the show would do to them. Now, people like Sarah and me -- and Al Gore and John McCain -- wanna appear on the show because they know they're gonna be treated with respect. Lorne Michaels is the new Carol Burnett!"