Thursday, February 19, 2015


Victoria Jackson, a six-year veteran of Saturday Night Live, is publicly wondering if her opposition to gay marriage prompted Lorne Michaels to treat her differently than the other cast members who attended the 40th anniversary of the show Sunday, writing on her website, "Is Lorne ashamed of me?"

Asked for a response, Michaels admitted, "Actually, I'm ashamed of myself for thinking she was funny in the first place."

The Clinton Foundation reportedly is seeing an increase in contributions from foreign governments after ending a self-imposed ban on such donations.

When asked for a comment, Hillary Clinton said, "Hey, if it's good enough for ISIS, it's good enough for us." 

Mississippi  State Rep. Gene Alday apologized on the floor of the state House of Representatives on Tuesday for accusing African Americans in his hometown of being lazy and receiving "crazy welfare checks."

"What I meant to say was," Rep. Alday stated, " was that African-Americans are crazy and collecting lazy welfare checks."

Republican Governor Sam Brownback of Kansas has rescinded an order protecting all gay state employees from job discrimination.

Asked why he wants to fire the gay workers, Gov. Brownback told reporters, "I just find them -- distracting, y'know? I mean, seeing those muscles bulging under their shirtsleeves. And the way they walk in those fitted jeans... the cologne they wear... brushing up to them in crowded hallways..."  Gov. Brownback then abruptly excused himself before heading towards the men's room.


A new documentary on Russian President Vladimir Putin reveals he was branded a drunken groper during his time as a KGB spy by his Soviet masters. 

When informed of this new finding, Joe Biden said, "Damn, and I only made Vice-President!"

The manuscripts are The Cat in the Casket, Oh The Funerals You'll Go To! and Horton Has a Stroke.

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