Monday, March 23, 2015

A PHARMACEUTICAL COMMERCIAL

Soft yet dramatic music on the soundtrack. C.U. of WOMAN looking at the camera.

WOMAN: It happened so suddenly. I had gone from being interested in the world, to becoming listless and bored.

INT. LIVING ROOM -- The same WOMAN is on the couch, watching TV with a mixture of depression and dread.

WOMAN (V.O.): Day after day, always at the same time -- I felt like giving up on life.

C.U. of her TV: A grim-looking Hillary Clinton is giving a speech.

WOMAN: (V.O.): All I could think of was, "When will this all end?"

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE -- The WOMAN is sitting on the examination table as the DOCTOR wraps up the physical.

WOMAN: (V.O.): I described the symptoms to my doctor, who gave me the diagnosis.

C.U. of DOCTOR of the doctor looking at the camera

DOCTOR: Marsha had all the warning signs of suffering from Clinton Fatigue. Fortunately, I was able to prescribe Hillraxia.

Music becomes more upbeat. CUT TO: DOCTOR at his desk, sitting opposite WOMAN. We see him talking to her while she nods.

NARRATOR (V.O.): If you're a political junkie, you may be at increased risk of Clinton Fatigue. Only your doctor can prescribe Hillraxia. Hillraxia is not for everyone. Do not take Hillraxia when using emails, dealing with the press, or enjoying moments of self-respect. Possible side effects include paranoia, megalomania, and cynically putting up with your spouse's sexual shenanigans for the sake of political gain. If you can't afford it, you may qualify for a government subsidy to purchase Hillraxia for up to two terms.

C.U. of TV -- Hillary is now laughing and pointing at someone in her audience.

WOMAN (V.O.): Thanks to Hillraxia, I can enjoy watching the news again.


The same WOMAN is on the couch, watching TV, only now appearing really, really happy at what she sees. She turns to look at the camera.

WOMAN: Talk to your doctor, and see if Hillraxia is right for you. 

C.U. of Hillraxia bottle.

NARRATOR (CONT.): If you're ready for Hillraxia, you're ready for just about anything.

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