Thursday, March 19, 2015

DYING FROM DURST

"Welcome to my world, friend."
I had forgotten about Robert Durst until watching The Jinx. And while I always thought the guy was guilty as a melting Fudgsicle on the 4th of July, I admit to being kind of sorry that he got the cuffs slapped on him last weekend. 

You see, I moved to New York too late to see John Lennon strolling around town, so Durst was the next best thing, celebrity-wise. But even after living here since 1981, I never crossed paths with him. In retrospect, that might be a good thing.

Durst's lawyer will probably claim that, thanks to The Jinx, his client won't be able to get a fair trial. C'mon! Anyone who could skate a murder conviction after admitting to killing someone, chopping up the body and throwing the pieces into the Texas bay is more than capable of buying justice. But just to make sure, Durst's defense team has already come up with questionnaire for the jury:

1) Did you approve the O.J. Simpson verdict?

2) Are you a strong believer in coincidence?

3) Are you able to suspend all traces of common sense?

4) Should you hold it against someone for fibbing on occasion?

5) How important is it when someone says, "I killed them all" in regard to two unsolved murders and at least one disappearance?

6) Wouldn't you say that claiming to witness your mother's suicide as a child is cause for acting out from time to time?

7) Isn't it perfectly normal for a wife to want to "get away" from time to time?

8) Do you admire Claus von B├╝low?

9) Don't you believe that a 72 year-old man who has been suspected of two murders and the disappearance of his wife for 33 years has already suffered enough? 

10) Admit it: you've wanted to kill your spouse at least once, right?



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