BREAKING NEWS: 8/12/15

According to a recent survey, a quarter of Germans think of Adolf Hitler when asked for an image that sums up their country.


The rest of the world said, "Join the club."

Kim Kardashian has been criticized by government officials for sharing misleading advice about morning sickness pills in a social media product placement. 

A spokesman for the FDA said, "The only medically proven way to avoid morning sickness is to avoid looking at pictures of Kim Kardashian"

The Daily Mail reports that eight year-old Angelina Jordan, the winner of Norway's Got Talent, is sweeping the internet after captivating hearts with her mature and soulful voice, and is already considered the new Amy Winehouse.

Fans and sponsors are lining up with offers of vodka, speed, and black tar heroin.

The Taliban condemned a video released this week showing what appeared to be a group of fighters belonging to the radical Islamic State movement killing a group of Afghan prisoners by blowing them up with explosives.

A Taliban spokesman said, "What was wrong with beheadings? Do you know how much explosives cost these days?"

A black bear in Georgia was photographed climbing into the driver's seat of a window cleaner's truck. She helped herself to three grape sodas, which she shared with her cubs.

The bear was immediately arrested for putting her children's health at risk.

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