Thursday, August 27, 2015


Upper East Siders are reported as being "shocked" at the work being done on the late Joan Rivers's apartment by new owner Prince Muhammad bin Fahd. Neighbors claim that the apartment is being torn to shreds, to the point of being unrecognizably hideous.

In response, Prince bin Fahd said that he was only paying tribute to Rivers' face.

Researchers have found that 20% of the ground beef sold in the U.S. contain samples of horse meat.

Coincidentally, those are better odds than what customers find at OTB.

A specially trained Labrador named Bear is being credited for sniffing out the flash-drive containing child pornography owned by former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle.

Bear's owner says that the dog was originally trained to sniff out artificial ingredients at Subway restaurants, but collapsed from overwork. 

Upon hearing the sentence, Holmes asked his lawyers, "Can we rethink this no-death penalty thing?"

When asked why it took so long to agree to the surgery, Xiuzhen said, "It made a great can opener."



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