Monday, August 3, 2015


There's a reason why people use cliches -- sometimes, the damn things are true. Like, "You never know what a celebrity is like in real life" and "You can tell a lot about a person by his friends." 

Just a couple of guys looking out for the kids
of America.
Jared Fogle falls into both categories. He's the guy who lost over 200 pounds eating nothing but lo-cal Subway turkey sandwiches. (I've lost weight on Subway sandwiches, too, but only by vomiting from the smell emanating from their storefronts.) Once Fogle became the official Subway shill, he campaigned against childhood obesity by setting up the Jared Foundation in 2004, hiring his friend Russell Taylor as its director.

Fast-forward to the spring of 2015. Taylor tries to commit suicide after his arrest for possession of child pornography. Fogle himself falls under the investigation, as the FBI discovers that he had sex with a 16 year-old girl found on Craigslist. (And you thought it was just for buying bogus Springsteen tickets!) As Fogle texted a friend, the experience "was amazing!!!!"  

The friend he texted was a woman he was in a relationship with. But that wasn't all he said to her:

Maybe those Subway stores aren't the moneymakers they're made out to be, and he was just looking out for well-being. That woman is remaining anonymous, which is understandable. Would you want people to know you slept with Jared Fogle?

As with the Bill Cosby story, more women are coming forward with their tales:

Child pornography. A man in his 30s having sex with a girl over half his age. Willingly eating Subway sandwiches three times a day. This story couldn't possibly get worse, could it?

It depends on your definition of "progressive." Russell Taylor -- best of friend of Jared Fogle, director of the Jared Foundation -- is now accused by a woman of asking her to join him in a three-way sexual encounter... with a horse. Call it Subway's 5-Furlong Footlong.

Nobody knows all their friends' secrets. But I think they know them well enough to know if those secrets involve child pornography, trolling for middle-school girls, urging their girlfriends to prostitute themselves, or desiring carnal knowledge with Mr. Ed. 

But when you look at Jared Fogle and Russell Taylor's recent photos, they suddenly look like the types who do  -- and became friends because they shared some pretty sick desires.

Russell Taylor no longer runs the Jared Foundation. Subway has cut off all ties with Jared Fogle. Fogle's wife (his second) is probably looking for a good divorce lawyer even as you're reading this. I don't think eating any amount of sandwiches is going to turn this thing around soon.


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