Thursday, September 10, 2015


In response, Democratic National Committee leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz said, "I condemn al-qaeda's statement. They should come up with their own platform instead of ripping off ours."

In related news, pharmacies have recorded an increase in husbands cancelling their wives' Thorazine prescriptions.

An anonymous worker in the area agreed. "If they haven't eaten one of these hot dogs, they don't know what an explosive device is."

George Pataki told CNN he would have fired Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, if she worked for him.

Pataki was then asked, "And you are...?"

When asked why he placed the shoes that way, the photographer said, "I was only following orders."

The New York Times has come under fire from Jewish organizations for launching a website aimed at tracking how Jewish lawmakers are voting on the Iran nuclear agreement.

A spokesman said there was nothing anti-Semitic about the site, before leaving for a sale on Valentino shoes.


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