Producer David Hill told Variety that this year's Academy Awards telecast "will be the most diverse ever."
Hill promised, "I mean, you're going to see so many different kinds of white people -- tall, short, some with facial hair, some without. And the women -- blondes, blondes with extensions, blondes without extensions. Hoo boy, is it going to be diverse!"
A satiric Doritos commercial featuring the ultrasound image of an unborn baby reaching for his father's Doritos was slammed in a National Abortion Rights Action League tweet for "humanizing fetuses."
"How can we believe in human fetuses," it went on to say, "since we're a bunch of jackasses?"
Heidi Cruz said that her husband, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), was showing America "the face of the God that we serve" through his faith-based Republican presidential campaign.
Asked for a comment, God's spokesman told reporters, "He's the Almighty -- do you think he'd make Himself look like that?"
Madonna lookalike Chris America has gone as far as having a dentist drill a gap between her front teeth so her smile is just like the singer's.
Chris' next step is to drill a hole in her brain to make her IQ just like Madonna's as well.
Communists in Russia have threatened to blockade the country's oldest movie studio if it goes ahead to make a biopic of Nikolai Lenin starring Leonardo DiCaprio.
"Such a casting would be a travesty," they added. "It's Seth Rogen or nobody!