Monday, April 18, 2016


The organizers of the Coachella Music Festival are planning an October concert featuring Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney, Roger Waters, Neil Young, the Rolling Stones, and the Who.

Coachella spokesman Brad Lanes told reporters, "The only thing more exciting than having all these legendary artists together for the first time is seeing how many of them live long enough to make it."

The authorities admitted they got the idea from Time-Warner Cable.

Four people were injured, none seriously, when Clinton slammed on the brake before collecting the money.

"Our client, Mr. Campbell, assures people he means no disrespect to anybody," said a spokesman from the law firm of Goebbels, Himmler & Goring.

In his defense, Mr. Harcharik said the guy wasn't going to use it anymore anyway.

Bernie Sanders drew his biggest crowd yet at a Prospect Park rally in his hometown of Brooklyn on Sunday.

"As I think back on the massive groups of supporters during this campaign," Sanders told the cheering throng, "I am humbled by the fact that if any of you were actually registered to vote, I might have had a chance of winning this goddamn election!"


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