In this, the worst presidential campaign since 1932 Germany, President Judson Hammond of Gabriel Over the White House looks awfully good -- even if he goes awfully far to help raise America out of the Depression.
It wasn't always this way, however. President Hammond, you see, used to put party (political and otherwise) over country first, last and always. Only lightly concerned about the endless promises he made to voters during the campaign, a colleague assures him, "By the time they realize you're not going to keep them, your term will be over." Who was it that said politicians need a public and a private face?
|"I faithfully swear to make myself rich off the|
donations of lobbyists, and the backs of the
taxpayers, so help me God."
Being the kind of guy nobody says "no" to, Hammond relaxes by driving his car at 100 MPH -- until he eventually loses control and goes flying headfirst into a coma for several days. Just as it appears to be heading for the polling station in the sky, he undergoes a spiritual transformation, waking up as a combination of Abraham Lincoln, Benito Mussolini, Jesus Christ, and Bernie Sanders. It's certainly more interesting than a party hack with a famous name or a bankrupt casino owner.
|"The good news, America, is that you won't have to|
travel to Central America to live under a banana
But that's not all. Deciding to beat bootleggers at their own game, Hammond opens government-run liquor stores. And how else is he going to get foreign countries to pay their debts but to make sure the US has the largest Navy in the world, and force all other countries to give up their military so they have the scratch to give back to Uncle Sam -- or else.
|"Let's do the dirty before I get conked on the head."|
|"Are you there, God? It's me, Judson."|
Hammond looks up from time to time for guidance whenever the horn sounds, kind of like a student of Louis Armstrong. Witnessing one such incident, Pendola describes it as "a delicious sense of lassitude." I thought I was the only person who used that phrase.
|It would be worth going to trial just to stand|
in this cool courtroom.
|Sometimes this doesn't seem like such a|
Whatever you think of his methods, Pres. Judson Hammond puts the working man first. Our two major presidential candidates are in it to satisfy their egos and lust for power. There's only one cure for what ails America: Make America Hammond Again!
And while you're at it, let's see some government-run marijuana stores. You just know they've got the best stuff.
Pres. Judson Hammond gives Congress what-for in this scene from Gabriel Over the White House. Tell me you wouldn't vote for this guy. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivMiVQjGeyg)