Monday, November 28, 2016

METATRUMPPHORSIS

As the United States awoke from a year of uneasy dreams, it found itself transformed in its bed into Trumpland. 

And it was shocking. Except for anybody who wasn't relying on their own narrow point of reference. What happened can be explained only by a math assignment. And don't worry, it's multiple choice:

Overconfident Democrats + Media Reliance on "Inevitability"  ÷ Angry Populace x Press Not Seeing the Forest for the Trees = ?

A) Hillary Clinton Loses Election
B) Pundits With Ostrich-Sized Eggs on their Faces
C) New York Times Editor Saying, "Didn't They Listen To Us?"
D) All of the Above

I know -- too easy! But not for the aforementioned press, which still insists on playing by the 1992 edition of The Official News Reporting Handbook, published by Glaring, Bias & Fatuity. 

The big complaint on Meet the Press yesterday: Trump's not choosing his cabinet the way it's always been done! True. The same way he ran a campaign in a way that had never been done -- and got elected over his all-but-carved-in-Mt. Rushmore opponent. The powers-that-be in every business always claim to value out-of-the-box thinking... until somebody actually does it.

And when it doubt, refer to Trump's cabinet choices as "hardliners." Question for Martha Raddatz of ABC News: what were the people who took hardline stands on Obamacare, invading Libya, and the Iran nuclear deal? Oh, those were Obama and his loyal supporters.

Don't worry, the press is on top of things now. You can go over to C-SPAN's live, 24/7 camera pointed at the President-Elect's private elevator at Trump Tower to see who's visiting. It would have been cool if they had a similar set-up at the Clinton Foundation.

One complaint you hear from the losing side is, The morning news shows always put Trump on the air when he called in! You know, David Brock and Sid Blumenthal might, just might have suggested that Hillary Clinton call in immediately afterwards to refute everything Trump just said

But that would have led to unpredictable questions from the folks on Morning Joe. And when your candidate has the ad-libbing abilities of a late-in-life, cue card-addicted Bob Hope, it's best to keep quiet now and complain later.

Then there are the Clinton lackeys who questioned Trump's patriotism for floating the idea of possibly questioning close election results... and are now currently saluting the "recount" flag for Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. What's terrible for the goose is apparently utterly delicious for the gander. 

It's time to get rid of the Electoral College once and for all! comes the cry. It sounds so easy, like getting rid of a coffee stain on the kitchen counter. All you have to do is convince the 47 states that are sure to be outvoted by New York, California, and Texas every four years that it's for their own good.

The general lay of the pundit land, then, is much like what Fifth Avenue will be this holiday season with tightened security around Trump Tower: messier than ever, and best to be avoided until next year.

You may get the idea that I voted for DJT. You would be wrong. I reside in a state that allows write-in candidates. And so I went the only choice I could live with:



You'd sleep easier at night, wouldn't you?

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