BREAKING NEWS: 3/4/17

Judy Garland’s remains have been moved from a New York mausoleum to a celebrity cemetery in Hollywood closer to daughter Liza Minnelli. 

Asked why she ordered the move, Minnelli said, "I hate to drink alone."

A 24-year-old woman from India who was cremated on a funeral pyre may have been alive when the cremation took place, according to local reports.

Informed of the tragedy, a local official reacted with shock. "Had we known she was alive, we would have raped and killed her first."

Vinny Ohh, 22, from Los Angeles has spent $50,000  on 110 plastic surgeries to transform into a 'genderless' extra-terrestrial -- and could soon have his genitalia removed. Ohh believes he's neither male nor female and so his extreme look is a way to mirror how he feels inside.

Reflecting on the cost, Ohh sighed, "Justin Beiber has no idea how easy he's had it."

Rodrigo Alves, 33, has undergone plastic surgery for the 51st time in order to look like a human Ken doll.

As he looked in the mirror following the surgery, Alves said, "I've gotta thank Vinny Ohh for making me look normal."

My Horse Prince, a new dating simulator app from Japan, lets women digitally fall in love with a human-faced horse. 

Asked why the app is so popular, a user replied, "With guys like Vinnie Ohh and Rodrgio Alves around, do you blame us?"

According to a study in Germany and Switzerland, grandparents can live five years longer by babysitting their grandchildren.

Researchers also found that they'll live ten years longer if they don't.

Scientists at Ohio State University have discovered that salamanders will walk nine miles for sex.

"This study proves beyond any doubt," said their report, "that men have evolved very little over time."

Two men were removed from Trump Tower last week – one after making bizarre statements about the FBI and the US government and the other after saying he wanted to speak with the First Lady, sources said.

Mr. Bannon and Mr. Trump were then returned safely to the White House.

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