TIME OFF FOR RICH BEHAVIOR

I get a headache just looking at this picture.

Much emotion was felt and many tears shed when Meghan McCain returned to work 10 days ago. It was her first appearance as Yenta #6 on The View since the death of her father, Sen. John McCain, on August 25. Fans and co-workers described her as "tough" an "brave" upon her reappearance.

While even a curmudgeon like me passes along his condolences and best wishes -- for losing a parent can be a pretty tough thing at any age -- let's look at it another way. 

McCain -- net worth estimated at $4-million -- hit the jackpot when she was born to a famous politician -- net worth estimated at $200-million at the time of his death -- which allowed her get a series of TV jobs on different networks where she's done nothing more stressful than mouth off. 

Not for long, buddy.

And while the rest of the 99% are lucky to get three days to adjust after a family death before being expected at the desk, cash register or gas pump, we're supposed to commend a millionaire for coming back to the job -- which, again, consists of giving your opinion for an hour, five days a week -- after over a month. 

This is tough? This is brave?

No, this is rich.

My dad timed it right when he died very early on a Friday morning. That gave me a weekend right there, allowing me to return on Wednesday, for a total of five days. Was I ready? Got me. All I know was that the rulebook said three paid workdays off. Anything else was on my dime. 

Did ABC take Meghan McCain off the payroll after the first three days? What do you think?

I'm not mocking her. It's pretty clear from what McCain has said that she was very close to her dad. But who deserves the accolades: the working parent who's got 72 hours to process the death of a loved one before punching the clock -- or the multimillionaire who could take the rest of her life off without feeling the pinch?

Y'know, for a second I thought it was
Laurence Olivier and Vivien Leigh.

It doesn't take a death to keep you from work, either. It could be something as simple as breaking up with your "soul mate". You may have heard (whether you wanted to or not) about the relationship of pop tart Ariana Grande, 25 (but looking 12), and Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson, 24 (but looking 35). 

It was the stuff of Shakespeare. Disney starlet-turned-singer, who just broke up with a drug addicted rapper with bipolar disease, meets drug-addicted comedian with borderline personality disorder. 

Ariana and Pete fall in love on day one, and immediately start getting matching tattoos. In Pete's case, they covered up the tattoos of the woman he had just broken up with after two years.

Whenever you see FOREVER tattooed, you know
it's not gonna last.

Three weeks later, Pete gives her a $93,000 engagement ring, and moves into her new $16-million condo. A few weeks after that, Ariana's ex fatally overdoses. Following a month of very public mourning, she dumps Pete. 

And it all seemed so solid!

You can guess what happens next. Ariana and Pete cancel personal appearances because they need their privacy after blasting their personal lives all over Facebook and Instagram every day. In fact, Ariana cancelled her performance on SNL's season premiere after her ex died, which probably made Pete a little nervous. Uh, honey -- we're engaged, remember?...

And what is their fans' reaction? Give them their space! Let them take time off! I really want those people to try that at work. I gather it would go something like this:

FAN: Sorry, boss, I gotta take some time off. I broke up with my boyfriend.
BOSS: Take all the time you need. You're fired.

Breaking news tonight: woman dates ugly guy
with money.

Here in New York, WCBS-TV news anchor Dana Tyler took three months off when her boyfriend returned to his ex-wife. Mitigating circumstances: she and the bf had been a couple for ten years, and his name was Phil Collins. 

Yes, that Phil Collins, whose endless stream of grating music infected the airwaves during the 1980s like a measles epidemic in anti-vaccine Montessori school.

Still --three months because you were no longer getting laid by a human Hobbit? Again, let's go to the real-world videotape:

YOU:  Sorry, boss, my boyfriend dumped me, so I'm taking the next quarter off.
BOSS: Not a problem. I'll put in a good word for you at the unemployment office.

For Matthew Perry, being rich made
him look poor.

If I had taken time off every time a relationship went south, I would have been fired more often than Billy Martin.

But celebrities? They just can't handle the pressure of real life. That's why Matthew Perry gets prescribed Vicodin after getting his wisdom tooth extracted, which leads to a years-long addiction to painkillers and vodka.

Meanwhile, after your surgery, the dentist tells you to take a Tylenol and pay the receptionist on the way out.

Moral: money makes you richer, but it doesn't make you stronger. Now get back to work!






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