BREAKING NEWS: 4/13/2021

 A New Yorker who wants to marry their own adult offspring is suing to overturn laws barring the incestuous practice, calling it a matter of “individual autonomy.”

Mr. Trump was advised that he and Ivanka might have better luck in Florida.

British reporter Gyles Brandreth says that the late Prince Philip believed that his former daughter-in-law Sarah Ferguson was "simply beyond the pale."

"And as far as this family is concerned," Prince Philip added, "the paler, the better."

Kanye West has responded to estranged wife Kim Kardashians' February 19th divorce petition, asking for joint custody of their four children. 

Kanye said, however, he'd settle for custody of the joints.

Press secretary Jen Psaki says the Biden administration is trying to get conservative men to take the vaccine by running commercials during NASCAR, Country Music TV and The Deadliest Catch. 

"And if that doesn't work," Psaki said, "we'll just tell them that COVID makes white people black.

The pornography site Pornhub is now selling its own line of spray paints.

The first colors will be White Stains, Yellow Showers, and Blue Jobs. 

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