Monday, May 24, 2021

BREAKING NEWS: 5/24/2021

 Kevin Spacey has been cast as a detective investigating false claims of pedophilia in the Italian movie, The Man Who Drew God. Vanessa Redgrave will be his costar.

The director, Franco Nero, says he understands the controversy with casting an accused pedophilia along with an accused anti-Semite, so he'll also cast accused rapist James Franco "just to even things out".

 

Researchers at the University of Oklahoma have discovered that food poisoning can be passed along through sexual contact.

When informed of this, men around the world were delighted to learn that there might be a good reason why women throw up after having sex with them. 


Sensing a chance to turn their state blue, Beto O'Rourke and Matthew McConaughey are both considering running for governor of Texas.

State Democrats were excited that one of their possible candidates is a skateboarder who lost his last two election bids, while the other is a pothead actor with zero political experience.


Paulina Porizkova, whose late estranged husband was Cars' frontman Ric Ocasek, said on her Instagram page that "someone crucial was missing" from her son's college graduation.

The 56 year-old explained she was talking about the guy taking those desperate cheesecake shots of her since Ocasek died two years ago.

 

 

Q-Anon believer Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Republican Representative of Georgia, has been condemned for comparing Nancy Pelosi's mask mandate to the Holocaust.

In response to Green's remarks, her supporters overwhelmingly replied, "But the Holocaust was a good thing, right?"

 

Former child star Ricky Schroder took a video of himself harassing a Costco employee enforcing the store's COVID mask rules.

Asked why did it, Schroder explained it was the first time he was in front of a camera in 20 years.

 



Demi Lovato has told her fans that complimenting someone on losing
weight can be as harmful as complimenting them on their weight gain
.

"However," she added, "you can still keep complimenting me for having a career when 90% of the population couldn't pick me out of a police line-up."

 

Instagram model Anastasiia Pokreshchuk of Kiev has spent almost $2,000 on self-administered facial injections

When shown Pokreshchuk's photos, Demi Lovato commented, "However, I said nothing about cheeks."



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