MOVIE OF THE DAY: "HOLLYWOOD PARTY" (1934)

 No other movie represents the occasional downside of the old "assembly line" style of moviemaking and M-G-M's utter ineptitude in making zany comedies like Hollywood Party. What was planned as a straightforward all-star musical revue became, over the course of a year's creation, a ludicrous 68-minute musical comedy so disjointed that a new ending was tacked on explaining it was only a nightmare. Which most people considered it to be.

They look good even after their showers.

But you know what? I like Hollywood Party. In parts, anyway. By and large, it looks great, from James Wong Howe's classy cinematography to the massive art deco set where most of the movie takes place. One of the extravagant numbers features women taking showers, which seemed to be a legal requirement in those pre-code days. 

But then there's the story -- or, rather, idea for a story. Jimmy Durante has carved out a movie career as jungle hero Schnarzan. Having heard that audiences are tired of him fighting stuffed lions in his films, Durante throws a party in honor of the untrustworthy Baron Munchausen (Jack Pearl, in his final movie, thank God), who claims to have captured a half-dozen real lions. Competing with Durante for the lions is another jungle movie hero, Liondora. 

This leaves only 63 more minutes to kill before the movie ends, so it's up to the comedians to save whatever is left. And by comedians, I'm not talking about the inexplicably popular Charles Butterworth and Eddie Quillan, two of the most one-note actors in movie history, who get way too much screentime. 

What's sad is that he's in better shape than me.

Outside of the unfortunate talkies he made with the alcoholic Buster Keaton, Jimmy Durante is always welcome. The Schnarzan trailer we see in a theater scene (following another Metro picture, Queen Christina) is not only stupidly funny in a good way but shows why they're called trailers -- they used to trail the feature rather than appearing before them. Props, too, for looking like a real Metro trailer, too. 

The Stooges enjoy their last big budget movie.

If Durante isn't up your alley, wait roughly 35 minutes for a brief appearance by Ted Healey & The Three Stooges as, respectively, a photographer and autograph hounds. "The boys" aren't mentioned in the opening credits, so either M-G-M thought so little of them (the Stooges decamped to Columbia later that year) or their scene was hastily filmed after the credits were created. No need to describe what they do here -- you can probably figure it out yourself and still laugh when you see it.

Mickey's pissed that Disney loaned him out to
 be in this mess.

Mickey Mouse drops by to introduce a weird Technicolor Disney cartoon short about a war between chocolate soldiers and gingerbread men, all of whom are eventually crippled, blown to bits, or melt in the sun. No wonder Disney parceled this thing out to M-G-M. Even by my standards, it's a disturbing seven minutes.

Stan reminds Ollie to get this scene done in one 
take so they can get back to the Hal Roach 
studio, pronto.

Only one -- make that two -- comedians rivaled Mickey Mouse in popularity at the time, so top-billed Laurel & Hardy stroll in 10 minutes before the end of Hollywood Party to show us what comedies are supposed to be. Their tit-for-tat egg-smashing bit with Lupe Velez was probably dreamed up by Stan Laurel a half hour before filming, but is nevertheless the undisputed highlight of the movie, and further proof that he and Hardy were geniuses at turning the simplest bits into hilarious set pieces. Watch Ollie's face in close-up as one icky broken egg slides down the front of his pants and a second down the back, as he silently registers shock, disgust and, finally, relief, in just a matter of seconds. Brilliant. 

Nobody in this scene listed Hollywood Party 
on their resumes. 

For a musical with three songwriting teams, Hollywood Party doesn't have much in the way of good songs. One number, "Hello", is clearly "influenced" by Animal Crackers'  "Hooray for Captain Spaulding", while "I've Had my Moments", rips off the melody from "Dinner at Eight". You know Rodgers & Hart didn't knock themselves out writing the title theme, although the proto-rap song they gave Durante, "Reincarnation", is just bizarre enough to be amusing. Or vice-versa.

As for Hollywood Party's other creators, only two of its screenwriters are listed in the credits, which features none of the eight directors (nine, if you include Walt Disney) who cycled through it. You can tell what the studio itself thought of the movie by holding the world premiere over 2,000 miles away in Atlanta. 

While Hollywood Party isn't the utter disaster history has made it out to be, it makes sense that the biggest names in the movie, Mickey Mouse and Laurel & Hardy, had to be loaned to M-G-M for their appearances. Otherwise, there really wouldn't have been much of a party at all. 

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 A year before Hollywood Party, Jimmy Durante, Jack Pearl, and Ted Healy & The Three Stooges appeared in another misguided M-G-M comedy, Meet the Baron, which you can read about here.