You can't take five steps in New York without getting bombarded by messages, ads, and other pieces of useless "information", Here are a few recent samples, accompanied by my pithy commentary.
Nothing beats walking in Central Park on a sunny spring day while looking at your phone and pretending there are orange curtains in front of you.
Hate to break it to you, bro, but the only thing anybody is going to trade any item of theirs for is money.
I appreciate the suggestion, but I'm more interested in figuring out the bus route if you don't mind.
If you ever asked the question "What would the love child of Spongebob Squarepants and John Lennon look like?", here's your answer.
Bill Ritter and Marza are news anchors on WABC-TV. And as you can see, we New Yorkers take our news seriously.
Ever hear of someone having a "punchable face"? I'd like to take a goddamn steamroller to this guy's.
Hey, it worked for Donald Trump!
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