RAPADOPE

Sure, I'd love to run into this dolt outside of
Gracie Mansion.

One week following Zohran Mamdani's inauguration as Mayor of New York, the race to oust him in 2029 has already begun. 

Please! Can't we go one month without political ads clogging up the airwaves again? Not if you're an actor who, as the Hollywood Reporter

reminds us, may be best known for his role as Phoebe Buffay’s cop boyfriend, Gary, in season five of Friends. For the person throwing his baseball cap into the ring is Michael Rapaport.

And just like that, she
was back on TV again.

The last time an actor ran for office in New York State was in 2018 when Cynthia Nixon challenged Andrew Cuomo in the Democrat primary for Governor. To this day, I'm not sure if Nixon was really serious about winning, trying to push Cuomo further to the left, or killing time before HBO approved a sequel to Sex and the City. 

Rapaport seems like he means it. He's already using Trump-speak, referring to "Zohran the Moron". That's pretty rich, as Rapaport makes Curtis Sliwa sound like Bertrand Russell. As he posted on Instagram (misspelling "Zohran"):

I, Michael Rapaport, am running for Mayor of New York City — 2029. Born. Raised. NYC. Nothing’s free. No bullshit. No fake grins. I’ll own my mistakes, apologize when I screw up, and fight to make this city safe, affordable, and thriving. You got Zoron the Moron now…Mayor Rapaport is coming. How do you like apples? 🍎🗽

I like apples clean, sweet, and crisp, traits Michael Rapaport lacks, which can be confirmed by the comment he made on his podcast announcing his campaign: 

“We have a shit stain at the helm right now in New York City, and it is a reality. It is a fucking reality. I think he’s going to supersede our wildest fears and expectations. Zohran the Zero, Zohran the Ziophobe, he is going to supersede all our fears and expectations.”

TBH, he probably
considers McDonalds
too upscale.

When Rapaport says he was born and raised here, it's a not-so-subtle reminder that Mamdani is from one of those foreign countries with a funny name and people with dark skin. "Ziophobe" means Mamdani didn't approve of the indiscriminate destruction of hospitals, schools, and the like in Gaza. (Mandy Patinkin, who's so Jewish that he's starting to look like a 17th century rabbi, sang at Mamdani's inauguration. And that was after the Mayor celebrated Hannukah with him and his family.)

You know haters are running out of things to hate when Rapaport condemns Mamdani's choice of sushi restaurants. According to Phoebe's boyfriend from season five of Friends, the place Zohran likes is too good for a pro-working-class Mayor. You think a multi-millionaire man of the people like Rapaport eats at McDonalds? 

It might be a good idea for Rapaport to see how a Mamdani administration plays out before trying to take him down. And, if he does run, to decide which party he belongs to. If Mamdani is still popular in four years, running as a Dem in the primary is a waste of time. Running as the official Republican candidate would make the local GOP even more of a joke than it is already. 

That leaves his only choice as an Independent or some made-up party like Eric Adams and Andrew Cuomo did. Rapaport could be the first candidate for the No Sushi Party. But he'll probably hate getting votes from all those woke vegans.

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