LITTLE RHODY, BIG LIARS

 Outside of the recent record-breaking blizzard, my birth state of Rhode Island doesn't make much news. That's probably a good thing. Better to pass through life unnoticed than be in the spotlight for the wrong reasons -- as just happened this week.

I know I'd lie if I belonged to a club like this.

A recent census found the states with what can be considered the worst

citizens in the country. Florida is populated by the biggest scammers (romance, not politics, oddly). Nevada is the most deceitful (you mean where Las Vegas is? Shocked!). And in little ol' Rhode Island, forty percent of its citizens admit to lying most of the time.

And the Rhode Island Red is actually
brown!

Assuming that the Rhode Islanders answering this survey were telling the truth -- which is sketchy, judging by the numbers -- close to 500,000 residents cannot be trusted when they say, "Love your boat shoes" or "Of course the fried clams won't make you sick." 

For a state that was founded on the principle of freedom of religion, these numbers are either shocking or to be expected. There's no reason given for Rhode Islanders' deceit. Maybe they learned from their politicians, who were some of the most corrupt in the country for decades. 

 Rhode Island was also the home of the New England Mafia, with the Patriarca Family calling (and shooting) the shots. Those guys usually refer to themselves as being in "hospitality", which is definitely falls under the category of lying, or "waste management". Come to think of it, that could be considered true, if by "waste" they mean "wiseguys who aren't forking over all the vig they're collecting", and "management" means "whack".

Or it could come down to the simple fact that, outside of beach-going or the Newport Jazz Festival, there's nothing fun to do in Rhode Island except lie. Speaking personally, the number of untruths and secrets going on in my birth-family when I was growing up was staggering. It wasn't fun, but it's nice to know we weren't outliers. Or is outliars?

North Dakota: The Sundown State
for Democrats.

A couple of caveats regarding this survey. First, the most truthful state was North Dakota -- politically, one of the reddest in the country, marching in lockstep with Donald Trump, the biggest liar that has ever occupied the White House. Either there's a serious disconnect between voters and their electees, or they're the biggest liars.

Second, the survey was commissioned by Tarotoo, an online astrology service that took zodiac signs into consideration. That points to a 40% chance they're located in Rhode Island. No lie. 

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