Thursday, November 7, 2013


Maulana Fazlullah, who arranged for the shooting of teenage activist Malala Yousafzai last year, has been elected the leader of the Pakistani Taliban by unanimous decree. 

Gloria Teasdale, the head of Akron, Ohio chapter of the Tea Party, pointed to Fazlullah as someone Republicans should emulate. "There's none of this back-slapping and hand-holding with Mr. Fazlullah," Ms. Teasdale told CNN. "He has principles. He hates popular music and wants to get rid of it. Bravo! He thinks movies and television are sinful. Absolutely! He thinks vaccines are a government conspiracy to harm the population. I've been saying it for years! I mean, hello -- 'World Health Organization'? Since when does the world tell everybody what shots they have to get? I'm happy with my doctor."

Warming up to the subject, Ms. Teasdale added, "All the RINOs are saying, 'Oh, we have to reach across the aisle, we should be happy with 75% of the pie. That's how you get elected, by compromising.' Really, Chris Christie? Fazlullah sticks to his guns -- I mean, really sticks to his guns -- and gets 100% of the vote! And unlike Gov. 'Stronger-Than-The- Storm,' I've never heard Fazlullah blab about global warming once!"

Mrs. Teasdale didn't back down when asked about the near-fatal shooting of Malala Yousafzai. "He doesn't want girls to get an education. I've seen what kinds of kids schools are turning out these days and, frankly, I don't blame him. What's a 15 year-old doing as an 'activist' anyway? Hasn't she got better things to do?"


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