BREAKING NEWS: BUDGET BILL EDITION

Facing attacks from their bases, John Boehner and Harry Reid made a rare joint appearance to explain their support for a provision that would dramatically increase the amount of money a single rich donor could give to national party committees each year — from $32,400 to as much as $324,000.

"What the people don't understand," Boehner said, "is that, by increasing the donation limit, we're actually helping hard-working Americans from having to dig deeper into their pockets to support their favorite candidates. The bigger the donation from the wealthy, the less we need from everybody else. That means they have more money to spend on medical bills, new shoes for Junior, and so forth. Remember, we want money from Walmart, not their cashiers."

"Not only that," said Reid enthusiastically, "but by increasing the donor limit, the more we are, in fact, soaking the rich as the left is always begging us to do. For instance, have you read any of those hacked emails from Sony? One of them details how Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg demanded $32,000 from studio executives for a Hillary Clinton fundraiser. Once the president signs this bill, Steven and Jeff will be able to shake them down for ten times the amount! If that's not soaking the rich, goddammit, I don't know what is."

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