Friday, March 13, 2015
THE WINO WARRIORS PROJECT
INT. LIVING ROOM -- C.U. of MARK WAHLBERG accompanied by generic, soft patriotic music.
WAHLBERG: When Mark Connolly joined the Secret Service, he was eventually assigned to President Obama's detail, when he was made second-in-command. A patriot at heart, Mark considered it the proudest moment of his life.
COLLAGE OF PHOTOS OF CONNOLLY PROTECTING OBAMA AT VARIOUS FUNCTIONS
WAHLBERG: (CONT.) But one night, when celebrating the retirement of a colleague, Connolly and a fellow agent, George Ogilvie, stepped on a landmine of stupid behavior.
IPHONE PHOTO OF CONNOLLY BEING QUESTIONED BY COP OUTSIDE WHITE HOUSE
WAHLBERG: (V.O.) The two agents got pie-eyed faster than you can say "Renegade arriving." The next thing they knew, they were driving into a barrier outside the White House.
INT. BEDROOM -- MARK CONNOLLY, hungover, is trying to drink a glass of Alka-Seltzer as his WIFE looks on.
WIFE: (V.O.): It's been hard since Mark returned. He puts on a brave face, but I know his hangovers are brutal.
COLLAGE OF PHOTOS OF SECRET SERVICE AGENTS IN COMPROMISING SITUATIONS.
WAHLBERG (V.O.): Every day, Secret Service agents are getting drunk on the job -- with hookers, or alone in dingy hotel stairways, or, in Mark's case, while crashing their cars onto federal property.
INT. DEN -- CONNOLLY, dressed in a ratty bathrobe while still hungover, is trying to walk a straight line with the aid of his seven year-old DAUGHTER.
DAUGHTER (V.O.): I help my daddy sober up before he goes to work. Because he tells me that even superheroes need to tie one on once in a while.
CONNOLLY stumbles over the hassock and passes out. The DAUGHTER pours of a glass of water on his face, which shocks him back to consciousnesses.
WAHLBERG (V.O.): The Wino Warrior Project is there to help Secret Service agents and their families recover from the trauma of getting hammered while guarding the leader of the free world.
INT. BATHROOM -- CONNOLLY, unshaven and bleary-eyed, is gazing at his reflection in the mirror.
WAHLBERG (V.O.): For $15 a month, you can help these wino warriors by providing them with the supplies they need to recover from their benders.
CONNOLLY kneels over the toilet and throws up out of range of the camera.
CUT TO: A Wino Warriors rubber hot-water bottle with the logo of three drunken Secret Service agents leaning on each other to prevent themselves from stumbling over.
WAHLBERG (V.O.): And with your first contribution, we'll send you this official Wino Warriors hot-water bottle -- identical to the kind we give these agents for their "morning after."
CUT TO: WIFE in living room.
WIFE (teary-eyed): The Wounded Warriors Project reminds us that we aren't alone. And that was the worst thing in the beginning -- being alone while Mark was throwing up all that Jack Daniels Black from the night before.
CUT TO: WAHLBERG
WAHLBERG: Please, make a contribution to the Wino Warriors Project today, and help a Secret Service agent get out of bed without tripping over his feet. Thank you.