Weinstein denied the charges, claiming that his chin accidentally bumped into her.
Republican Governor Mike Pence claims that Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act law was not written just to allow businesses to discriminate against gays.
"In fact," Pence told reporters, "businesses are encouraged to discriminate against the Jews, rag-heads and coloreds, too."
Former airline captain Tom Bunn wrote an essay for Time magazine urging flyers not to lose faith in pilots.
"Otherwise," he said, "they'll get pissed off and crash the plane into a mountain."
A man in St. Paul, MN, is accused of using his pizza restaurant as a front to move massive amounts of marijuana.
Police became suspicious after noticing slices were being sold by the kilo.
During a debate on a gun bill and concealed weapons permits, Arizona Republican Senator Sylvia Allen -- who has stated that the earth is only 6,000 years old -- suggested it might be better if she and her colleagues debated the idea of making church attendance mandatory instead.
Lawmakers in neighboring states suggested that psychiatric treatment be made mandatory for Arizona voters.
WebMD reports that fecal transplants, using stool from a donor, have been successful at treating a serious gut infection.
The first patient is now considered the only person more full of shit than Donald Trump.