Monday, April 6, 2015


Rolling Stone magazine retracted its article about a brutal gang rape at a University of Virginia fraternity after the release of a report on Sunday that concluded the widely discredited piece was the result of failures at every stage of the process.

In light of this development, Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner announced that his editors will take a look at recent articles the magazine has published in order to verify their veracity. Those pieces include "ISIS Shmisis", "The Boston Bombing: Eh, Not So Bad If You Really Think About It", and "America's Greatest Love Story: Inside the Clinton Marriage."

Senator Kelly Ayotte (R-NH) says she has accepted the resignation of her state director, David Wihby, who was arrested for solicitation of prostitutes.

"I'm very disappointed in David," Sen. Ayotte said in a press release. "He should have known that he could have had has pick here in the Senate."

In his appearance on Meet the Press yesterday, Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA) said that he feels Christian businesses in Indiana were facing discrimination in the debate over the state's "religious freedom" law. 

When told of Gov. Jindal's comment, Sen. Dennis Kruse (R-IN), co-author of the law, said, "I appreciate the Governor's support. Now I wish that curry-munching dot-head would go back where he came from."

The New York Daily News is reporting that Harvey Weinstein's fashionista wife Georgina Chapman is outraged and humiliated by the allegation he groped one-time Miss Italy contestant Ambra Battilana. 

Ms. Chapman told Daily News sources, "Harvey promised that I was the only thin, beautiful, sexy woman with dollar signs in her eyes that he would ever touch!"

John Oliver, the host of HBO's Last Week Tonight, surprised viewers and journalists alike by airing what was probably the most hard-hitting interview with Edward Snowden ever conducted.

When asked how Oliver managed to score the kind of journalistic coup most reporters can only dream of, Matt Lauer said, "Oliver has an advantage over us. He's a comedian pretending to be a journalist. We, on the other hand, are hacks, human Barbie dolls, and political suck-ups who don't want to do anything remotely serious that would cause us to jeopardize our ten million-dollar salaries. How are we expected to compete with him?"


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