In a related development, 95% of Americans report that Joni Mitchell's voice makes their skin crawl as well.
When asked for a comment, a government spokesman told reporters, "This proves that a college education really does equal more money."
Amid intense criticism of Indiana’s religious liberties law, Arkansas lawmakers on Tuesday passed their own religious freedom bill. State Rep. Bob Ballinger, a Republican who sponsored the bill, said “This legislation doesn’t allow anybody to discriminate against anybody.”
Upon hearing Rep. Ballinger, fellow Republican lawmaker Brad Lanes said, "So what the hell is the point?"
The New York Post is reporting that Bradley Cooper split from 23-year-old British model Suki Waterhouse because “she wasn’t supportive of his acting career” and “spent Valentine’s Day away” from the “Elephant Man” star.
Cooper confided in friends that he couldn't understand why she wanted to spend time with people her own age rather than a middle-aged man who dresses like her creepy stepfather.
Engineers believe the super absorbent properties of disposed glow-in-the-dark tampons could shed light on previously undetectable plumbing pathways.
Other people who would find luminous tampons useful in finding undetected pathways include Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Ryan Seacrest.