Wednesday, April 1, 2015


Singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell is in intensive care after being found unconscious at her Los Angeles home. In December she told Billboard magazine that she had Morgellons disease, characterized by crawling and stinging sensations under the skin.

In a related development, 95% of Americans report that Joni Mitchell's voice makes their skin crawl as well.

Appearing on today's episode of Morning Joe, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) talked about her efforts to curb the federal government collecting interest on student loans. From 2007 to 2012, the interest amounted to $66-billion.

When asked for a comment, a government spokesman told reporters, "This proves that a college education really does equal more money."

Amid intense criticism of Indiana’s religious liberties law, Arkansas lawmakers on Tuesday passed their own religious freedom bill. State Rep. Bob Ballinger, a Republican who sponsored the bill, said “This legislation doesn’t allow anybody to discriminate against anybody.”

Upon hearing Rep. Ballinger, fellow Republican lawmaker Brad Lanes said, "So what the hell is the point?"

Cooper confided in friends that he couldn't understand why she wanted to spend time with people her own age rather than a middle-aged man who dresses like her creepy stepfather.

Other people who would find luminous tampons useful in finding undetected pathways include Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Ryan Seacrest.


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