Friday, July 24, 2015


Police in Lafayette, Louisiana say that John Russell Houser committed suicide after killing two people and injuring nine others at a movie theater last night.

In response, Governor Bobby Jindal told reporters, "We are deeply saddened by this senseless act of violence. In order to prevent this from happening again, I'm urging state legislators to allow movie theaters to sell guns at their concession stands. I believe that when innocent moviegoers have the option to purchase firearms along with their Milk Duds, Jujubes or Raisinettes, they'll feel safer knowing that they'll be able to fire back at the next shooter. The more people firing back, the better."

When asked if it might be smarter to tighten restrictions on gun purchases rather than making it easier for an unstable person to shoot up a theater, Gov. Jindal replied, "This is not the time to play politics with this tragedy. Let's all pray for the survivors and their families, then start preparing for the next massacre."


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