Tuesday, September 29, 2015


Researchers at North Carolina State University have discovered that fingerprints reveal if you're of European or African descent.

When asked why just looking at someone's skin color wouldn't be easier, Dr. Brad Lanes said, "That would be racist."

Asked why she supported such a controversial stand, Fiorina said, "It worked at HP."

They warn, however, that anyone remaining thin for more than four hours should consult a doctor.

During the procedure, Bill Clinton is reported to have selflessly visited the plastic surgeon's office to keep the receptionist company.

Theatre manager Spence Waugh told reporters, "I haven't seen a reaction like this since I ran the last Nicholas Cage movie."

In a new interview with Complex, Justin Beiber says, "I just wanna honestly live like Jesus."

In response, millions of people have offered to drive him out to the desert before nailing him to a cross.


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