Tuesday, October 27, 2015


In a rare move for a major presidential candidate, Democratic hopeful Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) joined a picket line with Verizon workers in New York City on Monday.

Following a rousing speech to picketers, Sanders was overhead asking, "What's a Verizon?"

ISIS leaders have become so desperate for suicide bombers, they have now started to train up an all-women battalion of bombers in Syria, having run out of children to use.

ISIS spokesman Al'abluh Almaeiz admitted, "If this keeps up, we're going to have to do this shit ourselves."

Former heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson has endorsed billionaire Donald Trump for president of the United States.

When asked why, Tyson replied, "I appreciate anyone who can chew people's ears off."

British musician Roger Waters admits Hillary Clinton scares him, telling Rolling Stone that he's worried she would drop "a nuclear bomb on somebody."

Waters admits, however, that nothing can compare to the bombs he's dropped since leaving Pink Floyd.

An Arizona pet owner has been arrested on suspicion of bestiality after allegedly trying to arrange sexual acts with animals, authorities said. 

When police asked why he was interested in bestiality, the man told them, "All the other Kardashians were taken.


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