Friday, November 13, 2015


"Next time," Hardy said, "I'll aim for internal bruising."

Most of the people who read the essay believed that Ms. Schaeffer was too stupid for words.

Bush said he was honored, adding, "Now that I have the backing of both Bob Dole and Eric Cantor, all I need now is Herman Cain on my team to complete the 'Endorsements-Nobody-Gives-A-Shit-About' trifecta."

In response, GLADD spokesman Brad Lanes said, "What the hell kind of gay man dresses like that?" 

When New Yorkers were asked what they thought of the statistic, common answers were "I wanna kill somebody," "Which way the moon?" and uncontrollable shrieking followed by public urination.



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