Thursday, November 19, 2015


NBC News is reporting that the attack on Paris that left 129 people dead cost no more than $10,000.

"This proves," said Sen. Marco Rubio, "that privatization works smarter and more efficiently than government handouts." 

In related news, ISIS released a photo of the bomb hidden in a can of pineapple soda that was used in the downing of a Russian airliner last month.

In a Gallup poll, 75% of the respondents said it was a good idea to prevent people from bringing beverages on planes, while the other 25% wanted to know who the hell drinks pineapple soda.

Masada added, "What's really strange is that the caller seemed to like it, judging by her incessant cackling."

Kerry later told reporters, "What I meant to say was, Hitler made more progress when he focused on you-know-whats, am I right?"

Those vows included “destroying your basketball career for the sake of shilling for your no-talent, dimwitted, bovine wife and her ghastly family.”

An unidentified, 59 year-old blogger wearing glasses and a fedora was later arrested for breaking into the house in a vain attempt to steal the collection, screaming, "They don't appreciate this stuff! I do!"


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