BREAKING NEWS: 11/23/15

Robert Rodriguez, the director of Spy Kids and Sin City, has made a short film starring John Malkovich that has been put in a time capsule and won't be seen for 100 years.

Studio heads immediately asked if the same could be done for the forthcoming Adam Sandler movie.

North Korea has executed three women for circulating episodes of a TV series they illegally videotaped.

Motion Picture Association of America CEO Chris Dodd remarked, "Now we're talking!"

Giovanni Gambino, son of mob figure Carlos Gambino, said during an interview that “the rise of global terrorism gives the Mafia a chance to show its good side” by keeping areas safe from ISIL attacks.

He added, "I tell my guys: leave the gun, take the felafel."

The Texas Board of Education rejected a measure that would require university experts to fact-check the state’s textbooks in public schools.

BOE spokesman Brad Lanes explained, "We don't want our textbooks to have facts, so what the hell's the point?"

Researchers from the University of Cambridge believe that easy access to online porn can cause sex addiction.

In related news, the same researchers have proved conclusively that easy access to food can cause food addiction.

Gossip site Radar Online claims it has viewed a home video of Charlie Sheen smoking crack while performing oral sex on another man.

After returning the favor, the man said Sheen should return to TV in a sitcom called Three and Half Inches.

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