Tuesday, November 24, 2015


People fleeing violent mobs. Physical altercations between strangers. Blood spilling on the floor.

Of course, I'm talking about this week's Black Friday sale at Target -- the event that proclaims big savings even as you spend more money than you can afford. If only there was some way to get you to stop this nonsense. Some little voice telling you, Put down the 64-inch smart TV.

Well, some smartass college students in the UK have done just that, kind of:

Dues ex handbag
Now, I'm all for dopes being humiliated in public, especially by non-humans. But will anybody listen to a computer chip berate them when they're already ignoring their spouses barking the same thing?

More to the point, it would be great if the damn thing actually worked and was designed for Congress. Like when it spends $485-million on a weapons program that not even the Pentagon wants. But that would mean dealing with enlightened beings and not, uh, politicians.  

Furthermore, shopaholics who willingly lug around something like this are as likely as drunks packing Antabuse when they go on their nightly bar runs. You're in it for the payoff, not the payback.

Even the people who created this leather-bound yenta seem to realize it as well, having created only one, solely to "create a conversation." I'd hazard a guess that the conversation would go something like this:

CASHIER: Cash or charge?
SHOPPER: Charge. (Removes credit card from bag)
BAG: Do you really need this?
CASHIER: What's that?
SHOPPER: A talking bag.
CASHIER: Cool. Credit or debit?

People like this think that "creating a conversation" changes the world. I remember then-President Bill Clinton wanting America to start "a conversation about race." We're still talking, louder than ever, to the point of people killing each other. 

A hectoring handbag is likely to be as effective. But that's what you'd expect from a couple of 20-somethings who proudly proclaim their "design activism." If only ISIS was so active. Do you really need to blow this up?


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