Thursday, July 28, 2016


Holy Gucifer, Batman! People sure are steamed about Vladimir Putin's alleged hacking of the DNC emails. How dare Russia try to get involved with America's presidential elections... without a formal invitation. Better to do it the way Ted Kennedy tried in 1983, by asking the then-Soviet Union to help defeat President Reagan's re-election

But don't get the wrong idea. Ted planned on asking France and Britain for their help, too, 'cause they're our allies. Lafayette, we are here... to get you to help us get rid of our president. 

I know what you're saying -- that's history. History is boring. How boring? This boring:

  • 1946-1949: U.S. takes the side of neo-fascists against anti-Nazi rebels in Greece.
  • 1949: U.S. overthrows democratically-elected Syrian government in favor of dictatorship.
  • 1953: U.S. overthrows democratically-elected Iranian government in favor of dictatorship.
  • 1953-1964: U.S. and UK instigate strikes, disinformation and terrorism in order to prevent democratically-elected leader from taking power in Guyana. It proves unsuccessful. (Try harder!)
  • 1961: U.S. helps to install military dictatorship in Greece, overthrowing its democratically-elected government.
  • 1961-1963: U.S overthrows democratically-elected government of Ecuador in favor of military junta.
  • 1964: U.S. helps right-wing rebels overthrow democratically-elected government of Brazil.
  • 1964: U.S. sabotages democratically-elected Chilean President Salvador Allende.
  • 1970: U.S. tries to replace democratically-elected Italian government with a military dictatorship. It proves unsuccessful. (Oh, man!)
  • 1970: U.S. tries to sabotage Salvador Allende's re-election. When that doesn't work, it tries to assassinate him. It proves unsuccessful. (Get your act together!
  • 1973: U.S. encourages military coup of Pres. Salvador Allende. It works. (Finally!)
And that doesn't take into account U.S. involvement in Israel's presidential elections, or President Obama's not-so-subtle threat against the UK over the Brexit vote. (Following in the footsteps of Truman, Eisenhower, Nixon, and the Kennedy brothers, it was unsuccessful.)

One piece of good news, however: farmers in the Washington, DC area are expecting a bumper egg crop now that the chickens have come home to roost.


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