Thursday, July 13, 2017



DONALD TRUMP, JR., sitting on a couch, browses through a photo album, a look of concern crossing his face. His wife VANESSA sits beside him, lovingly rubbing his back. We hear:

VANESSA (v.o.): It started when my husband was looking through pictures of his friends and colleagues -- and didn't seem to remember who they were.

C.U. on photo album: Photos of Natalia Veselnitskaya, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, and Ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

Trump, Jr. looks at Vanessa with an expression that reads: Who are these people?

CUT TO: JARED KUSHNER, at his desk, filling out an official document, while IVANKA TRUMP looks over his shoulder. Like Vanessa, she appears concerned. We hear:

IVANKA (v.o.): My husband was always a stickler for details. So we knew there was a problem when my husband was forgetting to fill out important documents correctly.

C.U. on security clearance documents. Questions regarding Kushner meeting with any foreign officials are blank.

CUT TO: Montage of Trump, Jr. and Kushner with their wives in various homey situations: walking through the White House, standing on the White House south portico, sitting on benches in the park, etc., always trying to put on a brave face, as we hear:

NARRATOR (warm, caring): When a loved one is diagnosed with Russian Dementia, it can seem that all hope is lost. But now there's Leakxium. Leakxium is a new treatment that has shown to restore memory in those affected.

CUT TO: Montage of the couples as Trump, Jr. now happily recognizes the photos, and Kushner chuckles at the absurdity of leaving the government documents blank. CUT TO: Vanessa, now smiling at the camera.

VANESSA: After only three daily doses of Leakxium, my husband was able to recognize everyone he had forgotten meeting.

CUT TO: Ivanka, also smiling.

IVANKA: Leakxium brought back the memories that my husband believed were lost forever.

CUT TO: Further montages of the happy couples resuming a normal life, as we hear:

NARRATOR (v.o.): Possible side effects of Leakxium include public ridicule, perjury charges, and jail time. If you suffer any of these reactions, call your lawyer at once.

CUT TO: Vanessa and Ivanka.

VANESSA: With Leakxium, my husband's memory has been restored to its best condition since the summer of 2016.

IVANKA: If you, or any of your loved ones, have Russian Dementia, Leakxium is the treatment for them. Just make sure they're ready for the blowback.

C.U.: Bottle of Leakxium.

NARRATOR (v.o.): Ask your advisor if Leakxium is right for you. Leakxium -- from Deep State Pharmaceuticals.


No comments: