NOTHING COMPARES 2 CRAZY

If it's 2017, it's time for Sinead O'Connor's biennial "Guess what, folks, I'm crazy and I'm gonna kill myself" Facebook video.

Once more, with feeling.

This is not to make fun of suicide or mental illness. No, I'm making fun of the washed-up, one-hit pop star-turned-priest-turned tattoo billboard, who hits musical notes like a Gaelic Yoko Ono with severe menstrual cramps.

Sinead pulled this stunt in 2015, claiming to have "taken an overdose" somewhere in Ireland. She was soon found "safe and sound " after blaming her behavior on her ex-husband and kids. Ever hear the cliché "rambling suicide note"? Click the above link; not even Wrong-Way Corrigan rambled this much.

At least it's sunnier than Ireland.

Her latest video comes from a Tavelodge in -- wait for it -- Hackensack, which she describes as "the arse of New Jersey". I resent that description. My mother-in-law lives there, and, having visited her many times through the years, can definitely say that Hackensack is more like the spleen. You don't know what it's good for, but you'd miss it if it were gone.

I give her credit, though, no one wears "mental illness" with a badge of pride like Sinead O'Connor. I mean there's clinically crazy, where you have a real brain disorder, and then there's "that chick's crazy" crazy. O'Connor, I believe, falls into the latter category. She's someone who decided to flip out one day when discovering that not everyone thought she was a genius. All of you made me the way I am! And by the way, buy my latest album.

That sound you hear is the flushing of a
career down the toilet.

You can trace the beginning of her downward spiral to her notorious 1992 appearance on Saturday Night Live, when she concluded an a cappella  performance of Bob Marley's "War" by tearing up a photo of Pope John Paul, urging the audience to "fight the real enemy". 

I watched that episode when it aired, and my reaction was identical to that of the studio audience -- a deathly silence that screamed What the fuck? If it really was meant as a protest against the Catholic Church's cover-up of priests sexually abusing children, as O'Connor later explained, she might have done better to hold up a photo of a cute kid and say, "Fight child abuse." Everybody can get behind that (except priests committing child abuse, and the superiors who protect them).

In that misguided instant, Sinead O'Connor went from "that bald lady whose only hit was two years ago" to pop pariah. Later that week, she was booed off the Madison Garden stage at an all-star Bob Dylan tribute concert before she had a chance to open her yap. Just how many people in the audience were genuinely offended while others were just sick of her publicity-hound antics is a matter of conjecture.

Looks like a pedophile priest to me.

But she definitely gave the latter plenty of ammo by becoming a priest. As reported by the New York Daily News, "The singer said she planned to administer sacraments, including last rites, and would wear a clerical shirt and a dog collar."

Yeah, that'll get people on your side. I hope that among those given the last rites was her chance of being taken seriously by 97% of the world's population.

From that point on, it's been nothing but the occasional flop album, freak shows disguised as concerts, and "this time I'm really gonna off myself" videos. In her latest one, O'Connor claims that her psychiatrist considers her his hero. Great, now she's got a shrink who needs a shrink. If this keeps up, we should see two people in the next video come 2019 from a Motel 6 in Peoria.

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