Thursday, November 30, 2017

I HAVE COME TO PARSE MATT LAUER

Transcript of Matt Lauer's apology:


There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions. To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry. As I am writing this I realize the depth of the damage and disappointment I have left behind at home and at NBC. 

Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized, but there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed. I regret that my shame is now shared by the people I cherish dearly.
Repairing the damage will take a lot of time and soul searching and I'm committed to beginning that effort. It is now my full time job. The last two days have forced me to take a very hard look at my own troubling flaws. It's been humbling. I am blessed to be surrounded by the people I love. I thank them for their patience and grace.

Number of references to himself: 18
Number of references to his victims: 1
With that in mind, let us now take a second look at his statement.
There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions. Which is why my publicist is writing this.
To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry. Sorry for blowing my $20-million salary.

As I am writing this I realize the depth of the damage and disappointment I have left behind at home and at NBC. Because not only was I too busy being a predator to understand the possible repercussions, the NBC News brass didn't give a shit as long as the ratings remained steady.

Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized. I never reprimanded that young woman for not giving me a blowjob; I merely expressed my disappointment.

But there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed. Of getting caught.

Repairing the damage will take a lot of time and soul searching and I'm committed to beginning that effort. Taking the kids to Disneyland should do the trick, right? 

I regret that my shame is now shared by the people I cherish dearly. See? If those women didn't come forward, all this could have been avoided. Their fault!


It is now my full time job. Boy, do I miss that 20-mill!

The last two days have forced me to take a very hard look at my own troubling flaws. Thank God I didn't have to spend the previous 20 years doing that.

It's been humbling. True story: I actually had to look up "humbling" in the dictionary.

I am blessed to be surrounded by the people I love. When in doubt, use "blessed" to appear... what's that word? Oh yeah, "humble".

I thank them for their patience and grace. To the wife I've been separated from for 11 years: please don't take me to the cleaners.

                                                      ********************

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