BREAKING NEWS: 6/9/2021

Despite her vow of poverty, Sister Mary Margaret Kreuper, 79, is expected to plead guilty to wire fraud and money laundering for embezzling more than $835,000 from St. James Catholic School in Torrance, California.

Explaining the crime, Kreuper said, "Hey, this is California! 835,000 bucks is poverty, goddammit!" 

 

On the verge of being replaced after 12 years in power, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu  is accusing the winner of the recent elections  of perpetrating “the fraud of the century." He also initially refused to condemn the violence happening in his name before saying it was on both sides, while claiming the media, including Facebook and Twitter, were silencing his voice and others on the right wing.

Netanyahu has since been seen feeling up his daughter, slurring his words at increasingly repetitive rallies, and wearing adult diapers underneath pants that seemed to be on backwards. 

 

 

 

The New York Times website briefly published an article claiming that watermelons had been found on Mars, and that the FBI had intercepted kiwis raining on Earth, with the byline of Joe Schmoe.

A Times spokesman apologized for the error, saying that it was actually written by Maggie Haberman.

 

In Georgia, Melissa Lockerd, 43, has been arrested for burying her mother's corpse in their back yard.

Lockerd explained that she was told burying the corpse in a public park was illegal.

Russian scientists have resurrected “zombie” worms that had been
frozen for 24,000 years in the Arctic.

Their American counterparts hope to do the same for Joe Biden.

 

 

 

Senator Lindsey Graham told Sean Hannity that skeptics of the COVID/Wuhan lab leak theory were "covering their ass".

"Trust me," Graham added, "I know a thing or two about covering asses."

                                                   ***********************