WINDSORS IN KNOTS

You can say that again, Your
Highness.

When future historians study the Royal Family, the general consensus will be, That lot sure 
went to shit after Queen Elizabeth died. And while cracks were showing earlier, once she went to that palace in the sky, everything fell apart faster than Neville Chamberlain's "peace in our time" promise. Elizabeth was the glue who held The Firm together -- until the first good storm washed everything away. 

Scandals, secrets, divorce, backstabbing, and bad Photoshop: if this was what Prince Charles and Prince William meant by wanting to "modernize" the Royal Family, they sure got it, and how! Royals: they're just like us! 

Wasn't that the whole idea?

I never paid attention to the British monarchy until Harry decided to quit his job and throw the family under the coach, while demanding to keep his job title and salary.  Whatever the Protestant Anglican word for chutzpah is, he's got plenty of it. 

From that point on, Harry & Co. became my real-life soap opera. And as in any good soap opera story, things really started to go haywire with the passing of the boss who was running the business so long that the underlings never really got an idea of how to keep it going. They even have their own "Erica Kane" in Meghan Markle, the woman that audiences love to hate. 

Crikey! Kate's face... is the same as Kate's face!

Yet they're so inept at the old soap opera stand-by "serious illness" that it's become the cause for conspiracy theories. No wonder Queen Elizabeth preferred the company of corgis to her own flesh and blood. If she hadn't died of "old age" (or whatever it really was, wink wink), surely this current drama would have done her in. 

We've got Morning Joe, they've got
Afternoon Teatime with Crumpets. 

Yes, I admit that over the last two months I've become more familiar with the talking heads on British news shows than their American equivalents. Other than the snooty Piers Morgan, however, I know them only by their faces. The guy with the upbrushed gray hair. The guy who looks like George Arliss' great-uncle. The woman complaining about Kate's Photoshop while sitting in a phony living room allegedly overlooking Buckingham Palace. Even the name of the latter's show, Palace Confidential, couldn't be more blatant regarding its real mission. 

The best part is that all of them boast of their love and respect for the Royals while shamelessly gossiping, speculating, and tut-tutting them. Classy British news folks -- they're just like us! 

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