BREAKING NEWS: 5/21/15

Among other documents found in Osama bin-Laden's hiding place in Pakistan was an application form for joining al-Qaeda. One of the document's questions for the applicant was who to notify in case of suicide on the job.

Bin-Laden admitted that he got the idea from Walmart's job application.

Germany's Interior Ministry says it has appointed two Jews to a new commission on anti-Semitism in response to criticism that there was none among the original eight experts chosen.

A spokesman for the Ministry said that Jews were initially omitted from the commission because "they're greedy, evil, Christ-killers."

Many people are reporting that wi-fi is creating adverse health effects on them, including heart palpitations, perspiration and "brain fog."

They add that these conditions come about when viewing internet porn. 

New York’s Police Commissioner Bill Bratton said Wednesday that cellphone-sporting citizen journalists capturing heated interactions between the police and the community and posting them online are actually “agitating the situations."

Bratton added, "For instance, recent protests in New York never would have happened if someone hadn't recorded cops choking Eric Garner to death for selling loose cigarettes."


Two months after questions about Russian President Vladimir Putin’s whereabouts fueled rumors of a love child with girlfriend Alina Kabaeva, the noticeably heavier 32-year-old beauty has renewed speculation.

Kremlin-watchers admitted it wouldn't be the first time Putin invaded foreign soil.


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