BREAKING NEWS: 5/28/15

Archaeologists have uncovered what may be the world’s first murder, dating back 430,000 years. Researchers say lethal wounds identified on a human skull in Spain are likely to be evidence of the first case of homicide in human history.

Five minutes after the discovery, Rev. Al Sharpton was at the site chanting, "No justice, no peace."

The BBC is looking to hire a new "weather presenter." The classified ad said no experience was necessary, but the applicant is supposed to have a disability in order "to improve onscreen diversity."

A group of weathermen already working complained that "we're never right, anyway -- isn't that enough of a disability?" 

Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina told the Des Moines Register, "I bring to  this race a totally different perspective. I'm not a political neophyte, but I'm also not a professional politician. I actually understand how the economy works.”

When asked how she could relate to the lower- and middle-class while worth an estimated $120 million, Ms. Firorina replied, "I laid off 15,000 during my tenure at Hewlett-Packard before getting fired myself, so I know full well how difficult it is for working people."


“Today” correspondent Jenna Bush  is in the running for a new daytime talk show in development that could replace "The Meredith Vieria Show."

Sources say that the first episode would feature a roundtable discussion with Ms. Bush interviewing her cousin Billy Bush of Access Hollywood, Chelsea Clinton and Luke Russert of NBC News, Ronan Farrow of MSNBC, Oprah Winfrey's best friend Gayle King of CBS News, and Les Moonves' wife Julie Chen, also of CBS News. The topic will be "How To Make It in Television Journalism."

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