Wednesday, May 27, 2015


The world is awash in jobs. I know this because every time I fill out an online application, my spam filter is inundated with international offers from people with names out of a '40s PRC movie, like Velma Bond, Malik Ford, and Kasimir Schultz. Their pitches are often word-for-word identical:

Yeah -- straight to Sing-Sing.
Hi! The mail forwarding company is seeking shipping/receiving Manager.
No enrollment fee. The average monthly salary is $1500.
Job Duties and responsibilities:
- Must be able to work on flexible schedules - the position is home-based
- Receive and mail incoming parcels. Auditing incoming packages for damages.
- Complete all paperwork in a timely and accurate manner.

All that's required is to receive packages, then send the contents to their final destinations. An idiot could do it. Or rather, only an idiot, because this scam has something to do with stolen credit cards. (You can read a brief summary here.) 

Now, if you want a real job, Saudi Arabia is the place to go. The London Telegraph reports:

Definitely not their brand of choice.
No prior experience required and a chance to do side jobs just to shake things up a bit. Cool. 

Our Saudi friends have executed 85 people so far this year, so this is definitely a growth industry. If they keep it up, at this rate there should be 117 more unlucky folks at the wrong end of a Wilkinson's blade by New Year's Eve. (At least they won't have to watch Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin ring in 2016.)

An entry-level position, however, has its drawbacks:

In case you were worried.

I figured a country where the idea of "separation of church and state" gets a Hunh? from your average citizen would place religious functionaries on a higher pay scale. But when a job requires you to show up to the office only four times a week, I suppose it makes sense. 

The Saudis' law-and-order mindset would probably go over well in certain areas of the U.S. In the last decade, Texas, for instance, has executed 521 people, many of whom were actually guilty of the crimes they were convicted of. 

On average, that's still less than Saudi Arabia's output, which spiked dramatically this year due to the hiring of new judges to speed up the executions. This is probably one time that the Lone Star state would go along with judicial overreach. The Supreme Court under President Rick Perry would look mighty interesting.


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