Monday, December 7, 2015


Dalia Dippolito, a Florida woman who was caught on camera hiring a hit man to kill her husband, is claiming it was all an act - so that she and her husband could get their own reality television series.

The series they were hoping for was America's Stupidest Goddamn Sons of Bitches.

Miami Beach Police spokesman Brad Lanes apologized for the shooting, claiming that the officer thought the suspect was black.

Her previous surgery involved having her brain removed.
A Mongolian union leader opposed to the proposed sale of his country’s coal mining industry to China set himself on fire in protest.

"This was a terrible tragedy," said Secretary of State John Kerry. "On the other hand, it was a much cleaner form of energy than fossil fuels."

Oprah Winfrey says she refuses to refer to her viewers as "fans" because it creates a "disconnect of power."

She added, "I prefer to think of them as brain-dead zombies who'll obey my every order to further grow my empire. MWUHAHAHAHA!"

In a radio interview, Sen.Ted Cruz said that “the simple and undeniable fact is the overwhelming majority of violent criminals are Democrats.”

The same study he cited also noted that overwhelming majority of Republican presidential candidates are imbeciles.

President Obama today proclaimed Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day.

In doing so, he reminded Americans that the attack "was carried out by a small group of extremists using legal weapons that were purchased in the open market."

A 49 year-old man in Portugal was arrested in the accidental death of a 91 year-old woman during a sex game.

"This is the most horrible thing I've ever seen," said the arresting officer. "Who has sex with a 91 year-old woman?"

A British man was arrested for engaging in a sex act with the towbar of a campervan.

When asked why he did it, the man replied, "It was either this, or a 91 year-old woman."


No comments: