BREAKING NEWS: 3/30/16

Donald Trump's campaign manager Corey Lewandowski was arrested and charged with simple battery of former Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields.

Lewandowski denied the charges, explaining that Fields' arm simply got in the way of his clenched fist.

Researchers at Cape Western Reserve University in Ohio and Babson College in Massachusetts have published a study that states atheists exhibit more traits commonly seen among psychopaths, but that religious people are less intelligent than their non-believing counterparts.

The exceptions, however, are religious politicians, who are psychopathic and less intelligent.

Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz spoke at a Christian conference where pastor Kevin Swanson advocated forcefully for the executive of gays and lesbians – and then cheerfully introduced the Texas senator.

Researchers as Cape Western Reserve University and Babson College said, "See, what did we tell you?"

German car giant BMW apologized for its role in using forced labor to supply armaments and airplane engines to Hitler’s Third Reich.

"On the other hand," said BMW spokesman Brad Lanes, "Germany saved a bundle in defense contracts!"

A survey has shown that 20% of employees would sell their work passwords, with 44% of them willing to do it for less than $1,000.

The rest would arrange to kill their bosses for a six pack and/or a half ounce of weed, "whatever's easier, dude."

Beverage Digest reports that soda consumption fell to a 30 year-low in 2015, to 650 8-ounce servings per person.

The beverage industry plans to counteract those numbers by selling sodas exclusively in 24-ounce sizes.

Vermont State Police have arrested Fernando Estrella after finding 1,428 bags of heroin inside his body.

Experts said it was further proof of the lower consumption of Coke.

                                              

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