BREAKING NEWS: 5/19/16

In a radio interview yesterday, Republican Representative Steve King of Iowa warned that transgender civil rights will lead to an influx of "sweaty women" in public bathrooms.

A subsequent poll found that an overwhelming number of men replied, "Yeah, baby, now we're talkin'! Ow!"

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump met with former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger in New York on Wednesday.

When asked for the reason of the meeting, Trump told reporters, "Now that I've got the racists and nationalists lined up, I figured it was time to go for the war criminals."

Former Democratic Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell, a prominent supporter of Hillary Clinton, said that Donald Trump's past comments on women will come back to haunt him because “there are probably more ugly women in America than attractive women.”

In a quick survey, however, most women thought that Trump had the advantage because if Rendell is any indication, most men are stupid and look like Archie Bunker.

Mayor Bill de Blasio's Commission on Human Rights will fine New York's businesses and employees up to $250,000 for failing to refer to transgender people with terms such as 'ze' and 'hir'. 

However, news outlets will be rewarded if they fail to use the words "scandal-ridden," "corrupt," "sellout," and "sinking poll numbers" in connection with de Blasio.

A hacker claims that he has 117 million LinkedIn sign-in passwords for sale.

In announcing the sale, the hacker said, "This is your chance to finally connect with people who have no interest in hiring you."

The news site HeatStreet has compiled several photos of former president Bill Clinton engaging in "manspreading," the act of spreading one's legs widely while at rest.

When asked why he was so fond of it, Clinton said, "Well, I thought it was only fair, considering how many women I've told to do the same thing for me."

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